When you see me
You don’t see my warmth
You don’t see my pain
You don’t see the many nights
These shattered ruins left dormant
Remains
Stains
Of a man with a broken heart
All you see
Is the outer shell of me
Not what dwells within me
You don’t see
The many times
Left stranded
By the weaponry of mass deception
Since the day of my inception
No other than Gods hand of protection
You don’t see…..
No matter how hard I try
Sticking to my code
An ode of one of the few good guys
You don’t know….
I have had to sever many bad ties
Said my farewells
Still, simply doing what I felt was best at the time
Still, slandered to be this bad guy
All because I said my good byes
You couldn’t let go
Wouldn’t try…..Need closure
Asking me questions why….
But I tried…..thru and thru
All the jealousy
All the competition
Competing against another woman
I will admit….she’s cute, she’s fly
But for me, I am a man of character
And looks alone can’t keep these eyes
I need to research a bit deeper
See what’s inside of your heart
Hold a conversation
To understand the situation
To know
The when’s
The what’s
And the whys
And stop tripping on me
I am not the other guys
I am forthright
We all grown here
No need to tell any lies
Lust is deceitful to the naked eye
I have to pull back my retnas
From looking at your thighs
I am not that guy
Not holding space of pedigree
A timeless entity
Many befriend me
But when faced with challenges
How many will remember me
Still……
In your eyes
I’m just a sleeping enemy
Sending cards, candy, flowers
With the sweet scent of your perfumes
I have been the other man
I have shared many nights
In another’s bed…….
But at the end, there is no kinship
Alone I hold my own in this friendship
My penmanship for the poetic song
Is the only air I breath
Whether I am up or down
My flow always there when in need
Still……
When they look at me
All the see is what the flesh wants
Not so much about what I need
I am nothing more than a quick fix
I am poetic therapist
Out of practice this very presence
When we converse
All they see is she, he
Or whomever
Nothing to do with me
Nobody cares about who I am
What I am passionate about
Or what ignites my flame
Its all about a late night thing
To kindle a spark
That has been long absent
For so many years
But I feel used up
Now, what am I to do
Wither in tears
Maybe this is the reason
My heart harbors many fears
Lust…..That’s all l see
Her seductive whispers
Piercing to my ears
What you see…..
Is a one time thing
Orgasmic rhythms
You don’t see me
You don’t want my heart
You just like the idea
That I’m a good cook with damn good looks
But there is more to me, more than the cover of the book
So before you say you want to be with me
Would you take this man
In spite my many imperfections
Tell me…..Would I still be your numero uno
Would I still be your selection
Would you take me…..
If I didn’t have a college degree
If I didn’t feel like making love today
Would you…..Would you be okay with that
Would you take me……
All of me,
Not just the thing dangling between my legs
Would you take me not just for the flesh of me
Would you take time, to learn me, to understand me
To get to know the mind of me…..Because see
Everyone talks of mating, souls and chemistry
But me, myself…..I seek you to devour me
A deeper level of intimacy……Not just a one time thing
I have had enough of all the superficial aspects
Doing all the right things, still getting no respect
And finally……
I was raised by a King and Queen
One thing that taught me
I want what they share
Immense chemistry
41 yrs of marriage
Now that’s what I call a winning team…..
Frankly……..
I’m tired of love, not so much the phrase
But these modernized definitions
Connotations conflicted
A society that’s lust addicted
Which leaves the lonely soul conflicted
Many images depicted….Sodomized by all this fantasy
And yes….I am no prude
Not meaning to be rude
I too harbor sensuality
I too have my fantasy
But most importantly…….
I seek a deeper
Meaningful love
A love for me…..
A love for my mind
A love for my heart
A love for my spirit with in
A love that goes deeper than friends
A love that knows no ends
But see…….
All catch is all the residue
Just to get more of the same…….
But my questions I pose to God……
If you say you are of love……..
Is there someone for me…..
Just me……Who can love me
Cherish me……Embrace me
The way that you do…….
Make a believer……Make this my truth
So that I can be free to say those three words…………
I LOVE YOU
AND
I DO……
Make me a believer
Make me a receiver
I just need to know
Is there such a thing….
For me…..Will this ever be true……
Copyright©2011 Roberto Denaro Styles
